Top seven most WOKE characters in the history of movies

What does it mean to be “woke?” Being woke involves a number of things. Firstly, to be woke, one has to acknowledge what is wrong with the world, no matter what people say. Face...

Away from the Swamp: Why the soundtracks of Shrek 1 and Shrek 2 are...

As I walked around Far Far Away Record Store, wallowing in the thought of never seeing our beloved Green One again, I suddenly heard a sound. “Somebody once told me the world is gonna...

Schrooty attacks!

The student inside the Scotty costume, Wright Schroot, has been placed under psychiatric evaluation after brutally attacking spectators during UC Riverside’s baseball match against UC Santa Cruz (UCSC) on Friday, March 31. While Schroot...

Jack Nicholson buys Bing Center season tickets

"You can't handle the truth!" were the last words Jack Nicholson snarled at Los Angeles Lakers owner Jim Buss IV following the Lakers’ latest home loss to the Washington Bullets, which dropped the team...

UCR professor receives $5 million to hunt Moby Dick

UCR Professor of Cetology Captain Ahab has been awarded a $5 million grant by the Institute of Cetacean Research (ICR) based in Japan. The grant will be used to support the professor’s five-year voyage...

Hydroelectric dam to replace university parking lot

University officials recently approved the construction of a 600-foot hydroelectric dam to contain the mouth of the majestic Colorado River that snakes through parts of UC Riverside. Monikered the “Great Wall of Scotty,” the...

C destroys the chancellor’s house

On Wednesday, March 23, the UC Riverside chancellor’s house, located on Watkins Drive, was destroyed after the UCR C fell off of a helicopter chain that was transporting the landmark. No one was harmed...

Inauguration of UCR Mascot Showdown

Many fans have an obsession they take too seriously. Usually in college, fans are obsessed with either the basketball teams, soccer teams or the dance teams. Others, however, lean toward the mascot. This past weekend,...

UC president sticks with tuition hike, threatens to release Kraken

UC President Janet Napolitano announced she will stick by her plan to increase student tuition, and has threatened to release the Kraken to enforce her new policy. “This school system needs to know two essential...

Chupacabra sighting raises concerns at UCR

Last Tuesday a UC Riverside student took a photo of what he believed was a Chupacabra roaming the parking lot outside of the Student Recreation Center. The sighting has prompted mixed responses ranging from...