UC President Janet Napolitano announced she will stick by her plan to increase student tuition, and has threatened to release the Kraken to enforce her new policy.
“This school system needs to know two essential facts: that this tuition hike is the most realistic plan for keeping the UC system funded, and that I possess a legendary sea creature to...
CHARACTERS
MARCELO: second-year English major
ALARM CLOCK: 3 years old, made in China
Notes on MARCELO
MARCELO is a second-year and confused undergrad who can’t figure out how to identify himself after enrolling at UCR. MARCELO is a great planner, decent executor.
SETTING
The year is 2014, spring quarter. The story takes place in SOUTHRIDGE, a small neighborhood in the city of FONTANA, Calif. The...
Have you ever jolted yourself awake in the dead of night and muttered, “What if I don’t pass the final?” Or have you ever got the sweats with the thought of the senior thesis? Now, what if the “imagineers” of Disney took all those fears and used their magic to create a proper nightmare just for UCR? Don’t bother...
NBA superstar LeBron James is set to become a free agent after the 2017-18 season and has narrowed down his potential suitors to four teams. James has spent the past four seasons playing for his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers, but will most likely be looking for a change of scenery this summer as he enters the twilight years of his...
We all face daily struggles as we go about our ordinary daily business. We all struggle with wiping the sleep from our eyes when our I-Dosers force us to awaken. We deal with the monotonous drudgery of listening to dull robots in lecture drone on about the history of oranges. And we can all relate to the experience of...
The key to getting wonderful grades isn’t as mysterious as people think. People study for hours on end trying to absorb an exorbitant amount of knowledge into their brains and it usually never goes well. Those poor souls have been doing it all wrong for years. But rest assured, today is the day I reveal the method to the...
On a warm day in March, while indie bands were playing and films were competing for the attention of judges at the South by Southwest (SXSW) Festival. For an hour, Edward Snowden, the United States’ biggest tattle-tale, came through on seven proxies to deliver a PSA via Google Hangout. To take even more precaution, he even included a U.S...
Indie-rock band Sea Monkeys are back at it with their most recent project, “PM.” With their newest release, we watch the group dive into new waters as they experiment with doo-wop and pop sounds that will surely make you want to hit the beach with some friends. One of the album’s strong points is its catchy and water-lovin’ lyrics....
UCR Professor of Cetology Captain Ahab has been awarded a $5 million grant by the Institute of Cetacean Research (ICR) based in Japan. The grant will be used to support the professor’s five-year voyage to hunt the legendary sperm whale Moby Dick, who was responsible for over 30 shipwrecks last year.
Approximately $3 million went to purchase a world-class vessel...
Sports idioms have been banned by the NCAA for use by any media, including journalists and television commentators, after an uproar of the usage of sports idioms incorrectly. The NCAA came to the decision rather quickly, sending out a one page memo on the new regulations. The controversy started after a news writer wrote a recap on the Final...