I don’t know how to tell my roommate about my feelings and that I’m interested in her. She’s leaving really soon and I know that I’m gonna miss her, but I can’t be 100% sure if she’s straight or not.


To be straight or not to be … The dilemma of lesbians with best friends everywhere. I recently watched a TikTok where this comedian, Ashley Gavin, was doing crowd work talking to a girl who kissed her best friend with said girl sitting right next to her. These two actually kissed and even then the friend was on the fence about how she felt and, just watching, I knew that girl had to be going through the wringer emotionally. It really struck me that this is a somewhat universal experience, and the good thing about your situation is that you have a way to avoid total humiliation.

If your roommate is leaving, you’re on a clock. Take advantage of the fact that, if necessary, you never have to see her again if you don’t want to. If you tell her right before she leaves and you find out she’s not interested, then you’ll be able to move on without having to do the awkward dance of pretending nothing happened. Once how you feel is out there, you need to be sure that the possible post-revelation situation is something you can live with.

It’s up to you what you want to do, but know that chasing after straight women is literally a shortcut to being let down. Love someone who can love you back.