As I continue to make new friends, I’ve realized friendship is a lot like caring for a plant. A plant needs consistent sunlight, water and attention to survive. Without these essentials, it will slowly shrivel up and die, even if it was once healthy and blooming. Similarly, friendships need attention, care and effort to remain strong. When these things are missing, the connections we have with people can fade away.
Highlanders come from all over California and the world, and so many students have trouble maintaining their friendships back in their hometowns, or even with friends they have met in university who are now more distant. Unlike friendships that are close by, long-distance friendships lack the daily interaction, spontaneous hangouts and day to day conversations that make relationships strong.
But, just as houseplants can thrive with the right care, long-distance friendships can remain strong when people put in the effort to nurture them. Distance does not mean disaster for a friendship, so here are some tips to maintain these long-distance friendships.
Scheduling calls and FaceTimes
One effective way to maintain a long-distance friendship is to schedule a call or video call in advance. By scheduling a time to meet, both people in the friendship can be accommodated. Calls allow the opportunity for friends to share life updates, vent about challenges and celebrate achievements, keeping a sense of closeness. One idea is to schedule a video call during meal time, so both friends can emulate the experience of eating together.
If you are taking a class and your friend is taking a similar class at a different university, doing a study session via video call can allow for the opportunity for both friends to catch up while being productive. With technology such as Discord, friends can create new shared experiences online. You could set up a time to stream a TV show or play a video game together. Through these calls, friends can create new memories together instead of growing apart.
Staying involved through email, text and social media
Another aspect of maintaining long-distance friendships is making an effort to stay involved in each other’s lives. Simple gestures such as sending a text, sharing pictures and checking in after important events such as exams, job interviews or personal struggles can show a friend you still care about them even if you don’t see them as frequently. Social media apps such as BeReal, Instagram and Snapchat make it easy to share quick updates.
One tip is that after a friend posts, comment on that post or direct message them. These small interactions can turn into larger conversations, which both of you will appreciate. For those that do not use social media, email updates are great ways to maintain friendships, especially for friendships which are also mentor-mentee relationships.
If you are a mentee, a piece of advice is to send an email once every three months to update the mentor about your life and progress on your goals. Small acts like these provide that crucial connection that reminds your friend that distance has not diminished their importance in your life. Just as how watering plants consistently allows the plant to flourish, consistently checking in to show that you care allows that friendship to remain thriving.
Maximizing break and vacation time
During school breaks, you might have the opportunity to visit a long-distance friend. While you are in the same town, make sure to ask that friend if they want to hang out! These in person meet ups can be wonderful for friendships as it allows friends to reconnect and update each other about life.
Some ideas for in person meetups include going to an amusement park, walking around a mall, visiting a museum or anywhere where you and your friend can take long walks and catch up. While distance has separated friends, it has allowed you and your friend to cultivate many independent stories that you can share with one another, which can create exciting conversations that you all can cherish.
The friendships we make are in large part what makes our lives meaningful. For Highlanders entering new chapters of life, learning to maintain long-distance friendships is essential. Just like how caring for a plant requires consistent watering, sunlight and attention to prosper, friendships from afar can still be successful with enough effort. Distances between friends does not mean the friendship cannot grow. When we continue to water our friendships like we water our plants, they can continue to blossom and remain important parts of our lives.
