The school year is almost over and you realize that you and your roommate never really got along. You are polar opposites. They make some decisions you are not too happy with and vice versa, and it is honestly ruining your whole living on campus experience. There are a lot of problems and you have no idea how to resolve them.
You guys don’t seem to be on the same page about many things. Things have gotten awkward and the environment has shifted. You start to dread going to the dorm, because when you walk in there, there is always something going on that you are not so happy about. Here are a few common problems that could occur with roommates and the approach you could take.
“Hey, can we talk about who washes the dishes?”
This approach is simple but also direct. Try to avoid phrases like “you always do this” or “you never do anything,” which will inevitably start an argument. You want to stay calm throughout the conversation. Explain to them how you feel, but also listen to them. Do not just think about yourself, as they also have a life and unexpected things can show up. At the end, come to an agreement that benefits and works for both of you.
“Hey, can we set quiet hours?”
For this one you would have to be more specific. “Quiet” can easily be misinterpreted. Clarify if you mean no guests after a certain hour or just a low voice. Set rules together, but also make sure these rules are reasonable. For example, if gaming after 10 p.m., wear headphones and whisper. Set specific hours so that there is no confusion and no further arguments and disagreements.
“Hey, could we have a shower schedule?”
This approach is very simple but effective. You would need to share your schedules with each other. Talk about the time you both shower, for example, if you shower in the morning or in the evening. If you guys both shower at the same time of day this is okay, but set a reasonable time limit and decide who showers first. If someone is not going to shower that day let the other person know, just in case they want to shower a bit earlier.
Your housing experience shouldn’t be bad just because you and your roommate couldn’t set up some simple rules. Make rules that are beneficial to both of you guys but also realistic. Do not set up rules that are going to be hard to follow. These approaches are examples to some conflicts that may show up, but if there are any other conflicts remember to always stay calm, do not get worked up and also listen to your roommate. Do not just think of your own benefit, think about them too. Remember, the best way to resolve an issue is through communication.
