There have been too many times to count where a complete stranger has gotten on my nerves during one of my classes. There have also been too many times to count where my friends have told me about a complete stranger getting on their nerves during one of their classes. Based on my and my peers’ observations, I have been able to compile a list of all the things that have been eating us alive since the school year started. Take this as a guide on what not to do in a college classroom setting and why.
P.S. As surprising as it may be, this article is not only for first year students. Although these are good tips for first-years as to what not to do when you’re going into a college setting for the first time, I know a lot of second-years and upperclassmen also need to learn from this. So all of you better listen up!
If you’re going to sleep in class, don’t snore.
I get it. School has just started, and I’m already tired of it, too. But for the respect of the people around you, if you know you snore when you sleep, try not to sleep in class. Your sleep health is important, and it’s okay to miss a lecture because of it — it’s not like you were going to pay attention to it while you were there anyways. It’s alright to go home and prioritize yourself. Don’t be a distraction if you can help it.
Get a room.
I hate public displays of affection, and the summer has made me forget how absolutely PDA-ridden college campuses are — the University of California, Riverside (UCR) is no exception. This applies to both in a classroom and just on campus in general. As someone in a long distance relationship, I was afraid this was just me being jealous of couples that get to go to school together, but according to others, that is not the case — a lot of couples are really just wilding out here.
Being intimate in public completely goes against the definition of what being intimate is. I feel like intimacy with your partner(s) is supposed to be special, and doing private acts in public makes those intimate moments lose their value. It seems like it’s no longer love and rather just lust at that point. Nobody wants to experience that, and nobody wants you to share those moments with the rest of us. There is a time and a place for everything, and I promise you that time and place is not a Bourns Hall classroom at 2 p.m. I really do get it — you’re in love. That’s beautiful. That’s lovely. But that does not allow you to make out in front of the bus stop.
Don’t be a know it all — I promise that you don’t know more than the professor.
There are so many bright students that go to UCR; there is no doubt about that. That’s why you don’t have to show off that you’re one of them. I understand that you may just want attention; you want someone to acknowledge your knowledge. However, you don’t have to interrupt the professor after every slideshow just to flex. Nobody wants to know that you still remember your AP Chemistry from high school. Stop asking about advanced topics that we haven’t covered yet just because you want everyone to know you’re smart. If your peers wanted to know that, they would look at your LinkedIn. I’m not saying don’t ask questions, but if you have questions or comments that could be said during office hours or you think it may not be the most helpful during lecture when people are trying to learn the current content, keep it to yourself. We’re going over the syllabus on a Monday at 8 a.m. You do not need to be asking about the chapter we’re covering in week five. Be for real.
You are not funny. You were never funny. You will never be funny.
Leave class clowns in high school. There have been too many students that think they’re absolutely hilarious for shouting out purposefully incorrect answers or trying to joke around with the professor in the middle of class like this is the audience participation section of a comedy show. It’s not. Kudos to you if you’re just naturally a teacher’s pet or you’re trying to kiss up to get into their lab. Whatever, that’s fine, we don’t care. Just don’t subject the rest of us to your performance.
If you’re going to talk a lot, don’t be loud. Or don’t talk at all. That would be nice, too.
This is pretty straightforward, but a lot of people still don’t get it. Yes, a lecture hall is big and it’s easy to hide yourself amongst the rows of faces to gossip. The professor will probably not call you out if you were talking, but for the sake of the people around you, whisper at the very least.
Wear deodorant. I don’t have a funny tagline for this one. Just please wear deodorant.
As a psychology major, I didn’t even think that this was an issue in college. However, from the point of view of a student on the pre-med track, I have never had such bad smells enter my nostrils since the fifth grade when everyone was just starting puberty. I know it’s been hot recently, but pack an extra deodorant and/or body spray in your bag if you know you’re going to be sweating up a storm. Everybody has body odor — I’m not at all trying to judge or shame anyone. I just wanted to give some friendly advice and ask a small request of you. I think if all of you did this, the classroom would be a better place. Warm regards, a STEM student.
If you don’t want to be the “friend group celebrity” or have people loathe you the instant they see you step into the lecture hall, you should heed my advice. However, I cannot change how you act just with one article, but even if you don’t take any of my words to heart, this was cathartic for me to write. So thank you for reading and letting me share some of my classroom pet peeves with you.
