For many, Valentine’s Day is a time of love, passion and grand gestures, but that’s just one side of the coin. For other couples, the day brings forth challenges, tensions are at an all-time high and fear of stress and disappointment linger. The day doesn’t have to be an inevitable disaster for those whose relationship is on shaky ground. It has the possibility to rekindle love and turn things around. Here’s a few ways to find that spark again and move on with your life, for better or for worse.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Do not expect your partner to read your mind and magically fix all the things wrong in your relationship. Communicate! Openly talk about your feelings, concerns and needs with them — not on the day of Valentine’s Day, but well in advance — and express what you want to see your relationship to be like in the future. It’s not always about the big, sweeping gestures; the little things matter just as much, so make sure to communicate with your partner about what makes the two of you feel valued in your relationship.
The Gift of Time
If tensions have been high, and you don’t want things to go awry, the gift of time can get you by simply being present with your partner. Take a break from external distractions — such as your phone — and reconnect with your partner through quality time. Rather than being avoidant and pushing down your emotions, it might be good to bask in them in the presence of your partner. Time spent together is time that can remind you of why you fell in love. Nostalgia has a crazy ability to reignite feelings from the good ol’ days, reminding you of the foundation your relationship was built upon.
Plan a Thoughtful and Intimate Experience
Do not be generic. Chocolate and flowers are a step in the right direction, but remember the needs of your partner. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of holiday. Everyone has a different love language and feels appreciated in different ways, so find that special something that makes your partner feel seen. For some it may be a puzzle night at home, while others may wish to climb up the roof of their old elementary school and stargaze. And some may just want a nice dinner at the restaurant you went to for your first date. Find that sentimental value and make it a day worth remembering rather than letting it turn into a regular old date night.
Know When to Let Go
Not every relationship is meant to last. As unfortunate as it sounds, sometimes the best thing for both parties is to part ways in amicable terms. If reconciliation has not been possible as of far, it may be time to have an honest discussion about what your future together looks like. Rather than steeping in animosity and strained feelings, reflect on how you have grown together in the past and what it was like to be in a relationship with the other person. Sometimes that middle ground is not possible to find.
Valentine’s Day can mean many different things for many different people. Don’t let it be a day of stress or heartache. This year, let’s prioritize communication and quality time and remember why we love the people we love. The holiday can be a time to build a stronger, healthier relationship, whether it’s rekindling that fire or putting away the lighter before bridges are burnt. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to respect the feelings of both you and your partner and take the next step, whether it be together or not.
