Latina women are characterized as spicy, toxic and jealous. But why is that characterization so normalized? The stereotype of a “tȯxica” Latina girlfriend is something that many young men strive for because it makes them feel desired and wanted. This stereotype is harmful to women who had the luck of being born to Latino parents.
The tóxcia girlfriend stereotype is an online phenomenon that had a surge in popularity earlier this year due to the release of the Curry Baker film “Obsession.” Nikki, played by Mexican actress Inde Navarette, is controlled by a wish her friend, Bear, made so that she becomes obsessed with him and only him. The film touches on topics such as lack of consent, loss of agency and male entitlement over their partner.
Throughout the film, Nikki attacks, isolates and wants complete control over Bear because of the wish he made. Whenever Bear is with his friends, Nikki finds a way to interrupt and have Bear’s attention all to herself. Her desire for Bear leads to a series of volatile and violent events, bringing harm to everyone involved.
Commentary that “Obsession” is just a film about being in a relationship with a Latina sparked online after its rise in popularity. Considering that the film focuses on a woman’s loss of autonomy and free will, drawing comparisons between the two not only reinforces the negative stereotype but implies that both parties fall prey to an obsessive nature outside of their control.
This stereotype creates a harmful narrative of what it is like to have a Latina partner and imposes false expectations onto young women looking for a romantic relationship. It isn’t fair to have these ideas thrust upon young women who all have different personality types and are unique individuals with different ideas of love and how they would navigate a romantic relationship.
Additionally, Latina women are constantly sexualized and fetishised because of their body types. This sexualization is constantly seen in movies and television and usually goes hand-in-hand with the tóxica stereotype, which reduces Latina women to just their physical appearance and their possessiveness over their partner. Gloria Pritchett from the popular show “Modern Family.” Although Gloria had a loving husband, she was written to be loud, sexy and her body was a constant point of commentary throughout the show. Gloria being written down into a stereotype waters down her character into the sexy second wife to an older white man.
One way to fix this issue, on an individual level, is to stop the usage of the word “toxica” online and the romanticization of controlling behavior in romantic relationships. A larger-scale solution would be to break the patriarchal cycles that have been embedded into Latino society for hundreds of years.
The origin of the tóxica stereotype stems from the mistreatment many Latina wives endure from their husbands. In Latino communities, many husbands proudly strive to be labeled as “machistas,” which, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, means “a man who believes that women are inferior to men.” The dynamic of a machista husband and a tóxica wife allows husbands to abuse their wives emotionally and physically, fosters distrust and creates a degrading married life for their wives because they are seen as “less than” their husbands. Due to the mistreatment by their husbands, many women in turn become jealous, angry and toxic.
Young Latinos must learn that they do not have to follow the machista way of living that has been instilled in them from a young age. When they follow machista ideals, they re-enforce the false idea that just because they are men, they have complete authority over women. Young Latinas have to realize that they are more than just the toxic stereotypes imposed upon them and that they do not have to accept being treated as angry accessories to men just because society casts them in that role. It is important for Latinas to know this because if they don’t, it could lead to them accepting a relationship that can harm them.
The roles of a machista and a tóxica are a way for backwards patriarchal cycles to continue in the Latino community, which keeps future generations of Latinos and Latinas stuck in a toxic loop of what they think love has to be.
Latin American culture and communities are beautiful and the traditions carried down generationally are something that should be sacred and always remembered. Healthy and romantic relationships can include finding comfort in someone with similar experiences, bonding over traditional meals and even finding another family to call one’s own. While the culture is beautiful, there is work to be done to break down societal norms that are perpetuated by the young Latin American community, and doing so could allow for a future that does not instill patriarchal ideals into women and men alike. This can lead to an abundance of happiness, love and community.
Latinas are not an object or something to be desired. They are women with individual traits, personalities and qualities that are unique to themselves. One Latina is not like the other and negative stereotypes such as being “toxicas” and the sexualization of their bodies create a dangerous society for them to feel welcome in.
