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Getting cheated on is a risk that everyone takes when entering a relationship. Sometimes in a relationship, people face a sense of suspicion that lingers within them. When faced with these emotions, it is critical to remain collected and level-headed, because at the end of it all, it may just be a suspicion.

Naturally all relationships start off strong, but then slowly dwindle leaving you with questions of doubt. If you think your partner is cheating on you, first try to assess the foundation upon which your relationship was built. Next, assess the amount of trust you have in your partner by analyzing the type of conversation you guys have. If your conversations are often shallow, try to ask them simple questions that may lead to a deeper topic. This will open doors of conversation for you guys to strengthen your relationship by knowing the little things about each other.

Find an outlet to talk about everything you have noticed — possible options are talking to a friend or writing everything out. This will help you stop overthinking and allow for you to clearly assess your current situation. Overthinking can lead to an over-analysis of your partner’s actions, leading you to create hypotheticals in your head.  You will always feel your partner is acting cold and distant if you feed yourself the notion they are. Try to walk into the situation with a clear head to allow yourself to truly observe their actions free of bias. Take more notice on how, not why, they are acting different to have a better gauge if they really have changed.

Finally, if you truly think they are cheating on you, it is best to confront your partner. The keyword is confront, not attack. Explain to them how their recent actions have made you feel insecure of your relationship. There needs to be mutual respect and finally addressing your concerns will prove that you want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Keeping this in mind, it’s also equally important that you listen to your partner. Listen to what your significant other has to say, because there may be a wide array of reasons that explain their behavior. Words are powerful, and when they are used incorrectly they can tear a person down. With this is mind, be very mindful of your word choice when while speaking to them.

It’s expected this conversation might lead to complete shock or even anger from your significant other. However keep in mind emotions are tricky because they are out of our control. Express how you can’t help but feel this way because of their recent actions. In addition, keep in mind your significant other is also entitled to their own emotions. Being accused of cheating is a blow to their dignity so approach it with caution.

The most tempting solution is to snoop around their belongings, but please do not because that is a violation of their privacy and trust. This action alone can end your relationship because it shows you can’t trust them enough, so you had to take matters into your own hands. Consider why your partner is making you feel so insecure that you are actually willing to be just as sneaky to go behind their back to find out what they have been doing. If there is a complete lack of trust between the two of you, then you should definitely consider whether the relationship was healthy to begin with.

The thought of your partner cheating can drive you insane, so always try to take a step back to assess the situation at hand, and communicate with your partner. At the end of the day, the only person who can confirm if they are cheating is your partner.