Convenience over connection: the problem with dating apps

Technology has done both a lot of good and a lot of damage. It has brought people closer together, while simultaneously pulling them apart. There is an app for everything, from finding a partner to maintaining a relationship. That being said, relationship apps should only be used as a tool to enhance a relationship, they shouldn’t be the foundation it is built on. cour

Dating apps have become a helpful way for people to meet in an age where dating and relationship apps make the dating pool larger, which in turn connects people that wouldn’t have met otherwise. These apps are available at any time and any place without interrupting a person’s daily life. They don’t require any more work than the initial sign up and opening of the app.

Relationship apps become a problem when the apps move from being a way to meet and get to know each other to being the backbone of a relationship. While relationship apps can improve communication, they can also make a person seem disingenuous when talking about their feelings. There is an app that sets reminders for users to send affirming or emotionally connecting texts to their partner. Using an app like that can put a person on autopilot, so romance becomes just as robotic as brushing one’s teeth. Telling your significant other “good morning” or “have a wonderful day” shouldn’t require an alarm every morning. Instead of enhancing a relationship, it makes it monotonous. 

Dating apps can commoditize the dating experience. With most dating apps, a person can search for desired traits and come up with many different options. Having many choices for potential partners can often feel less like finding a compatible partner and more like searching through Amazon for the best french press on the market — it becomes less about getting to know the person and more about the superficial choices available to you.

In the midst of a busy life, reminders could be useful for big events like anniversaries and other important dates. Life has become so fast-paced with jobs, classes and other engagements that time for romance can be difficult to fit into the hustle and bustle of the everyday. The occasional reminder can aid couples in having a healthy and fulfilling relationship, but that’s where it should end.

Apps can be useful during the beginning stages of a relationship but they should not be the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Intimacy and communication should be created and fostered by a couple, not an app.

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