My girlfriend wants me to be more spontaneous in our relationship. I’m struggling on doing this as I can mostly do the regular dinner and a movie date. What are some other ways I can be more spontaneous in my relationship? 


This is something that you should ask for greater clarification on because spontaneity is a double-edged sword. You’re probably wondering what areas she wants you to be more spontaneous in, and you run the risk of doing things that are not what she had in mind.

You also need to sit down and have a conversation about scheduling. It’s not super sexy or romantic, but organization and coordination are important to your relationship. You need to have a straightforward conversation about what you can do and what time you have. It’s not spontaneous and is the opposite of what your girlfriend wants, but you still need parameters and boundaries to be spontaneous. As ridiculous as this sounds, share a calendar and engage in some digital intimacy.

There are easy ways to show appreciation for your partner spontaneously, which is what I suspect she is looking for. For some girls, that means words of affirmation or small acts of service. It might just be that she wants you to show you care by doing little things like buying flowers or whatever act you think she would appreciate. I don’t think she’s looking for huge changes to your relationship, but the small things matter in relationships. People notice when partners are not doing the little and, frankly, easy things.