With the start of a new school year, there’s a lot of excitement. New classes and new goals bring a fresh sense of motivation. But for many students, a quiet feeling of stress also begins to build.
Burnout is becoming a common part of the college experience. And burnout doesn’t always mean feeling tired. Sometimes it shows up as low motivation, procrastination or perfectionism. For many, especially young students navigating careers and societal expectations, it can feel more like relentless striving. The feeling of falling behind, of not being “enough,” can be ever-present — even when it’s unclear who or what they’re trying to catch up to.
Some people wake up each day with a mental checklist of unfulfilled goals: the job they don’t yet have, the business they haven’t started, the life they thought they’d be living by now. These internal pressures often go unnoticed until they manifest as chronic fatigue, anxiety or self-doubt. According to mental health professionals, this form of burnout is more mental than physical. It stems from a deeply ingrained belief that worth must be earned through constantly achieving.
But that belief is a myth.
The most beautiful things in life are not the things you can add to a resume; instead, they are the quiet mornings where sunlight spills across your bed and the friends who make you laugh until your stomach hurts. For those used to pushing themselves to meet ever-rising standards, embracing rest can feel radical. But experts emphasize that prioritizing well-being isn’t laziness — it’s survival. Taking breaks, setting boundaries and saying “no” when needed are valid forms of self-care.
Another major driver of burnout is chronic people-pleasing. Many people, particularly those who fear conflict or rejection, find themselves constantly shrinking to fit the expectations of others. This can mean over-apologizing, minimizing emotions or seeking approval at the expense of personal needs. Your worth isn’t in how much of yourself you can give away, so stop setting yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Remind yourself that a real connection does not require self-erasure.
Emotional burnouts also show up in relationships where individuals wait — sometimes indefinitely — to be seen, chosen or validated by others. This waiting can turn into self-abandonment, in which a person’s own needs are ignored and they instead focus on earning someone else’s approval. To those people, there is a world where you don’t sit in front of your phone, staring at a screen, hoping for a message that will change everything.
Burnouts don’t just come from relationships. It also shows up quietly in classrooms, study sessions and late-night deadlines. Academic burnout can leave students feeling drained, unmotivated and disconnected from their goals. The constant pressure to achieve, keep up and perform can lead to a cycle of stress and self-doubt. It’s not just about doing too much; it’s about feeling like you’re doing enough.
There are so many things that lead to burnouts, things you wouldn’t even think twice about. Some people overwork themselves not out of ambition, but to avoid dealing with difficult emotions — particularly grief. Staying active can serve as a distraction, a buffer against the quiet moments when grief may arise. Work also provides structure, control and a sense of purpose, which can be reassuring when everything else appears unclear or broken.
However, frequent motion eventually takes its toll. Ignored emotions do not go away; they accumulate, quietly wanting to be felt. Over time, fatigue sets in, not simply from the effort, but also from the weight of all that remains unprocessed from your grief.
Preventing burnout is not about lowering ambition; it’s about shifting priorities. It means recognizing that your value does not depend on your output, your ability to make others comfortable or whether you’ve “arrived” at a socially approved milestone.
You’re allowed to seek joy in the ordinary. You’re allowed to rest without guilt. And most importantly, you’re allowed to belong to yourself before you belong to anyone else.
If you or someone you know is experiencing chronic stress or emotional burnout, support is available. Contact a licensed mental health professional or visit mentalhealth.gov for more information and resources.
