The worst feeling in the world is realizing that your friends might not actually be very good friends at all. Letting go of familiarity can be scary. But take it from someone who has gotten through a toxic friend group before and found their way to somewhere new and secure. I’m here to assure you that it will be okay and to guide you through getting out of a toxic friendship environment.
Analyze if you truly feel yourself around the people you call friends
Making friends is hard but keeping them is harder. There’s this giddy phase at first, where everything you do together feels exciting and new. You share stories about one another and develop your friendship. But then you may start to realize that instead of being yourself around these friends, you find yourself overcompensating, being someone you’re not.
With a friend, silence should feel comfortable, laughing should come easy and boundaries should feel healthy. If you don’t like the version of yourself you are around these people then it may be a toxic environment for you. You thrive around people who have your best interest at heart.
Does being around these people feel like a breath of fresh air or a weight in your chest?
In most cases hanging out with friends can feel like a relief, somewhere where life feels easier even when it might not be. If you’re constantly uncomfortable with the way you’re treated, to the point where you don’t really look forward to hanging out with them as much anymore, this should be your sign to leave. You may be thinking, what if I leave and I find no one else? Well I’m here to assure you that while it will take time to adjust and find something new, you will find new people, and it will be worth it.
Make the leap to get to the other side
So you aren’t feeling fulfilled and seen to the max capability in your friendships. Make your move. You can start by telling them how you feel. If they’re accepting of your feelings then maybe the friendship can be salvaged. Communication is important in all types of relationships, especially friendships. Maybe your friend doesn’t realize what they’re doing is wrong, so point it out and try guiding them in the right direction first. Now, if they still ignore it or just say that’s the way they are and there’s no changing it, then you can know you tried. Let that be your final sign to let go.
Know your worth. Walking away doesn’t make you dramatic, it just means that you chose yourself. You deserve friendship where you will be respected and seen as you are, not for playing the part of someone you’re not. So let’s keep the real friendships in and the toxic ones out this year, Highlanders.
