Replicating that diverse friend group sitting under a tree moment every college seems to advertise could be your future! Intimidating, to say the least, college introduces an overwhelming environment saturated with all walks of life that seem to have it all figured out in the friend department. And while many can get a quick handle on making friends, many others can’t. You are not alone; well, maybe you are, but that’s okay! Making friends is not easy, and keeping that in mind when entering a new environment is important. However, it can be made easier by incorporating the following few tips into your weekly college routine.
Learn to be alone
Learn to enjoy your own company before you look for others to fill it. This is all about romanticizing your own life and being okay with being alone. Entering college is a great opportunity to find a sense of independence everyone should take advantage of. In the wake of this independence, feeling lonely is oftentimes, for many people, a sign to jump on the friend-making train. However, in the same sentiment, quotes like “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” are thrown around for relationship advice, the same philosophy stands when making friendships. Any activity you think requires a friend can be done just as well while being alone. Picking up on this advice can start anywhere from treating yourself to a good coffee in the morning or going to the library by yourself to live up to that mysterious persona. Just remember, you are enough to make yourself happy.
Sit next to someone
That moment when Poll Everywhere leads to the best friendships. One of the easiest ways to secure a friendship is in an academic setting, such as one of your lectures, labs or discussion classes! In an environment where the people next to you might be just as confused about the lecture as you are, it’s a good idea to take advantage of this canon event and make sure to seat yourself next to someone to maximize opportunities for collaboration on class work. More often than not, the person next to you has the same question or is equally confused about the lecture material. Sitting next to someone would not only allow you to collaborate on classwork but will also encourage the opportunity of a study buddy, study groups and the possibility of curating a more personal friendship outside of academics.
Initiate conversation
While a talking stage might not take you anywhere, a conversation with the college students around you might. Starting a conversation on a whim isn’t always easy, especially for those who are more introverted. However, certain settings may allow for the chance to start a conversation with a purpose. Apart from sparking up a conversation in an academic setting, other opportunities may include complimenting a person, asking for directions or taking advantage of seeing a familiar face. This is best executed when both individuals are at a standstill; that is, waiting in line for something, waiting outside of a lecture hall, washing your hands in the bathroom, etc. For those who are more introverted, noticing a familiar face that may be in many of your classes or is of the same major should make for a more comfortable excuse to start a conversation!
Get involved
The easiest way to make friends is by getting yourself involved on campus. Curating to every special interest you can think of, including everything from academic organizations to fitness clubs, the University of California, Riverside (UCR) has over 500 clubs for students to join. The process of joining an organization on campus is made less intimidating and more personal when attending UCR’s R’days, which are hosted every Wednesday. R’days advertise the spirit of the student body with the roaring liveliness and presence of the student organizations introducing their clubs to students looking to get more involved. With the presence of the clubs’ board members introducing their clubs, you get the opportunity to interact with the organizations on a more intimate level. Joining a club provides ample scenarios to make friends with other club members who have the same interests as you. However, to guarantee a friendship in a club setting, consistency is key. Attending meetings, going to club events and supporting off-campus fundraisers should be done consistently to encourage your familiarity with the club and its members!
Live on campus
Dorm life is a catalyst for making friends. Whether it be your roommate, hallmate or the people you frequently pass in the elevator, you are bound to make friends with someone. Making friends while living on campus is all about proximity. The people you live with and surround yourself with everyday are individuals you want to get to know, considering the personal nature that comes from living under the same roof. You wake up with these people, and you end your day with these people. Interactions with these individuals will be limitless within the next school year, and will further encourage the development of other mutual friends you will be introduced to. The relative closeness between the dorms and school also allow for more, and easier involvement on campus, especially with others who live with you.
Stay on campus
Considering UCR is a commuter school, it makes it all the harder to make friends. For those who commute, especially long distances, getting off campus and beating traffic is a top priority. However, this comes at the expense of having the opportunity to get involved and make lasting friendships. Making a schedule that both works with your commute time and allows for you to get involved with other students will encourage a fulfilling college experience. While curating a schedule that works with both your commuting schedule and social life isn’t always easy, have an excuse to stay on campus (club, job, etc.)!
Say “yes” to everything
Well, not everything! But when an opportunity arises to make any new friends, definitely say yes! When getting asked to join a club, say yes! When getting an email encouraging you to attend a career fair, say yes and go! When invited to go to a party, say yes and enjoy yourself! (Of course this yes rule should only apply with the guarantee of safety and a good time to meet some new people.)
Don’t get too comfortable
College life fluctuates, especially friend groups. Four years is a long time and provides ample opportunity to meet a lot of new people. Grounding yourself in one friend group is too limiting, and you should encourage yourself to seek out opportunities that may bring in new people. This is not to say that you should abandon your friend group, but more of a reminder to yourself that expanding your circle can help expose you to many walks of life you may have never considered or experienced. This is also a reminder that friendships aren’t always the best, or forever, and may be doing more harm than good. Don’t get discouraged, though — live in the moment and appreciate the people you have around you that make you happy!
