“The Green Inferno” fizzles out

Courtesy of Blumhouse Productions.
Courtesy of Blumhouse Productions.

If you walked into “The Green Inferno” hoping to see Juni Cortez from “Spy Kids” get eaten by a bunch of cannibals who are high as a kite then you’re in for a treat. If you walked into “The Green Inferno” expecting a decent horror movie with decent acting and decent characters, then my God, are you going to be disappointed.

The film slowly opens up with the film’s main, bratty protagonist Justine, played by Eli Roth’s very own wife, Lorenza Izzo. Justine, a stereotypical Valley girl wants to prove to her father that she, like, totally, cares about the rainforest because it says so in her Twitter bio, so she joins an activist organization, complete with the token vegan and the token lesbian couple. Their demented and sketchy leader Alejandro (Ariel Levy) takes them to the deepest parts of the Amazonian forest to disrupt a construction project. Then, finally after 45 painful minutes of “character development” and obvious foreshadowing, the group crash lands and winds up in headhunter territory.

Director Eli Roth has shown his preference for torture porn and shock value with his past films “Hostel” and “Cabin Fever,” so “The Green Inferno” is, unsurprisingly, the exact same thing. The only difference is that with the poorly written dialogue and characterization wasting the first 45 minutes, I questioned if Roth took himself seriously when writing the script.

This is where the only good part of the movie begins. If Roth knows how to do anything, it’s how to make something disgusting and shocking. I overheard several patrons after the movie state that they were nauseous and uncomfortable during the cannibalistic scenes, due to how graphic and realistic they were. Going back to the pathetic excuse that was the story, the rest of the film is spent showing the creative ways the crash landed teenagers are eaten. My personal favorite moment being one of them committing suicide after realizing that they ate their friend. Afterward, the surviving members stuff weed down her throat in an attempt to pacify the villagers.

Roth also felt the need to show Justine form a half-assed developed friendship with one of the village kids. It seriously makes no sense. The kid just likes her and doesn’t want her to get eaten because she has a necklace that’s a whistle. Believe it or not the kid actually ends up serving a purpose.

Roth has time and time again proven that he knows how to use special effects to gross you out without making it look too cheesy or fake. He has also time and time again shown that he can’t write or direct to save his own life. The painfully annoying and unrealistic dialogue made it impossible to relate to the characters, who don’t even register on any dimension. The obvious foreshadowing had me rolling my eyes so far into my head I could see a nice place to put a bullet hole in. Roth however was able to use his signature humor to his advantage. While it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of teenage entrails, it’ll entertain those who wanted to see the movie in the first place.

“The Green Inferno” is really only made for those who already follow Eli Roth devotedly, and for those who are 12 and want to sneak into an R-rated movie for the first time. Considering all the other mindless and unoriginal horror movies there are out there, and unless you’re a fan of extreme gore, “The Green Inferno” is one you should skip.

Rating: .5 stars

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