This was the year that made me question my existence. It all started when I decided to always say “yes” to every opportunity that came my way so that I never miss out on a possible character development arc in my life. I try to live life with no regrets, and I certainly do not regret any of the decisions I made this year, but they brought me a lot of trouble with my perception of self.
I’ve seen a lot over the course of the last 12 months. I’ve spoken to people I normally would not speak to, did things I would not even consider doing and said “yes” to everything people have asked me to do. The side quests I’ve embarked on have left me with many stories and lessons to tell, and have made me known to be someone who will happily take part as a supporting character in anyone’s story. While I have made an impact on others’ lives, those around me have shaped my own life in numerous manners.
I am but the culmination of those around me. In 2024, I went out of my way to talk to people I normally would not. I encountered people from all walks of life, from young parents, administrative officials to small children, all in an effort to find out what makes people want to live, not just survive. And boy did I find the multifaceted complexity of being human to be interesting.
I’ve never truly hated another person before and I want to continue that sentiment well into my life. With every conversation held with another person, more is revealed about their mannerisms and reasonings, adding another piece to the puzzle of who they are. For every vice or red flag we carry, there is a flip side that balances it out. Though the puzzle may never fully be completed, it reminds me that I will never truly understand someone as I do not know everything that has led to who they are today.
While the opportunity to poke into people’s brains is compelling as a student journalist, it also takes a toll on my own mental health. Last year was my venture into understanding what it means to view others as humans rather than as non-player characters (NPCs). This is my year to better understand how I play into this conception and take an active role in my own life rather than lay subject to the spectator role I often play.
A lot of what caused that mentality last year was due to my role as the former News Editor at the Highlander. I was often plagued with the idea of being involved in a major event and then needing to cover it myself. Which, if it were to happen, would be a conflict of interest. This mindset led to me repressing any and all opinions and desire to take part in action, only viewing what unfolded on campus and talking with other people to better understand their own ordeals and reasons for doing the things that they do.
This year, I choose to be “selfish” — at least in my eyes. I choose to speak out against the things that bother me and to be unequivocally bold in my actions. I choose to take a stand when things go wrong and have no regrets about the decisions I make. I started employing this mindset late last year and I certainly started having a lot more drama in my life, but I realized that I was also being unapologetically myself.
For the first time in my life, I was seeing a side of me that I was not only happy with but proud of. With the help of a college education, I was able to articulate what I thought and felt clearly, pulling from my experiences at the newspaper and in my classes; it’s with this energy I leap into the new year.
So to continue this journey of better understanding myself, I’m going to keep saying “yes.” I’ll jump into opportunities without a second thought, opening up paths I would have never taken originally. The vices which I picked up on last year will be shed and this year will be clean of any temptation. While I have played witness to drama unfolding in the lives of others last year and avoided it in my own life, this time around I’ll embrace it with open arms and take the chance for a character development arc to unfold.
