Courtesy of icivics.org

Today, in the matter of Citizens for Justice vs. The National Health Care Providers of America, the Supreme Court will decide whether nationalized health care plans should cover the expense of male circumcisions and vasectomies.  Organizations are claiming that circumcisions are religiously motivated and that American taxpayers should not be required to pay for this surgical procedure.  These organizations are also claiming that vasectomies only encourage sexual recklessness and are void of any health benefits in today’s society.

Spokesperson for Equal Protection Under the Law, Marion Ballbuster, said, “Why should American Taxpayers finance a man’s vasectomy, when the only purpose behind this surgical procedure is to give men the freedom to have irresponsible sex.  If a man doesn’t want a child he should buy a condom and use it. There are absolutely no health benefits associated with a vasectomy and Americans should not have to subsidize a man’s sexual recklessness.”

In response, spokesperson for Patriarchy Forever, Gilbert Gotit, said, “Objections to vasectomies fail to recognize the sacrifice men make for women.  A man doesn’t surrender his masculinity so he can be promiscuous; he does it so his female partner doesn’t have to resort to other means of contraceptives.  Men don’t look forward to going under the knife.”

Gotit had no response when asked about the higher risk of sexually transmitted disease occurring in men who have had vasectomies.  When asked about circumcisions he said, “Circumcision is not religiously motivated.  It is a procedure that has reduced cancer of the penis, when performed on newborns.” When questioned about evidence that associates cancer of the penis to the human papilloma virus, a sexually transmitted disease, he had no response.  Obviously, Gotit doesn’t get it, but neither does religion.

Circumcision has a rich history and has been associated with religious practices, rite of passage, slavery, sexual pleasure and social status to name a few, but the one that rings clear over time and explains increases and declines in circumcisions is hygiene.  That’s right, bathing was not always practical, and during this time in history circumcisions increased for hygienic purposes, which is not the case today.  Parents who want a knife taken to their child should know that circumcision became popular when it was thought to be a cure for masturbation, which was believed to cause blindness, mental illness, alcoholism, epilepsy and other illnesses.  Now we are told that foreskin is to blame for penile and cervical cancer, urinary tract infections and sexually transmitted diseases. Frankly, it sounds like something soap, water and a condom may be able to address; sorry for the simplicity.  So if you want the knife you should pay the price.

A vasectomy, on the other hand, is an issue of convenience and is absent of any medical benefit and does not prevent sexually transmitted disease.  Therefore, those wishing to take a knife to their scrotum must incur the cost, in more ways than one.  This medical procedure is about the convenience of having sex and birth control.  It also begs the question, “Has making love become a fast food drive through lane?”   Maybe it’s time to recognize moments in our lives when the rite of passage and ceremony is an opportunity to celebrate responsibility.  I will not get graphic, but what’s the rush when one considers the opportunity to create a memorable satirical moment of slipping on a condom, in ceremonial jest or maybe you prefer a more serious moment.  Use your imagination and celebrate the moment, because altering our bodies in this way, for convenience, is a lazy roll-over way to celebrate love.

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