Erving “Magic” Johnson immediately regretted his decision to buy the Dodgers for $2.15 billion dollars. Realizing how worthless of an investment the Dodgers would turn out to be in the short and long term, Johnson decided to sell the team for $5 to some homeless guy he met at the park.
Just 24 hours after the deal, Magic realized that the Dodgers were losing more money than they were making. Failed investments in Dodger Dogs, Manny Ramirez and free bobble heads that had traces of lead paint were the primary culprits of the monetary losses. Apparently there was also this little issue with Frank McCourt, but that’s not really important.
Upon realizing the mess that he got himself into, Johnson decided to do what any smart person would do and sell the Dodgers for $5 to some random homeless dude he met at MacArthur Park. It was simply the right thing to do.
But how is spending $2 billion dollars and gaining five bucks a wise move? It’s simple: this is the Dodgers we’re talking about here. The never-win-anything-but-always-brag-about-how-cool-they-think-they-are team is an automatic financial death sentence. A study conducted in 2010 showed that this team was single-handedly responsible for the 2008 recession and for 88 percent of the Greek financial crisis somehow. Magic is lucky he only lost 2 billion dollars in this move.
So what happens to Magic now?
I think Magic should throw himself a party and be happy he’s not a part of the Dodgers anymore. I mean, I would. Again, this is the Dodgers we’re talking about here. Any time that you rid yourself of a sorry excuse for a franchise and still get five bucks in return, you should definitely go out and celebrate. If nothing else, Johnson should use the $5 he got to buy himself a nice, tasty Dodger Dog. Win-win.