Tag: april fools
Students held at gunpoint, booty nearly stolen
Three students were held at gunpoint by two pirates at the mouth of the Colorado River at 11:30 p.m. on March 26. Out for...
ASUCR hands out free life vests
ASUCR voted last Wednesday to allocate more than $50,000 for free life vests for the student body to prevent drowning while navigating UCR’s waterlogged...
UC president sticks with tuition hike, threatens to release Kraken
UC President Janet Napolitano announced she will stick by her plan to increase student tuition, and has threatened to release the Kraken to enforce...
Local billionaire announces plans to drain UCR, create libertarian utopia
Last Friday, billionaire and UCR alumnus Andrew Ryan announced plans to drain the campus and create a libertarian utopia, where state funding would be...
Hydroelectric dam to replace university parking lot
University officials recently approved the construction of a 600-foot hydroelectric dam to contain the mouth of the majestic Colorado River that snakes through parts...
CDC infested with flesh-eating piranhas
The Child Development Center (CDC) Building A was shut down last week due to a piranha infestation. University experts will work on clearing the...
The Pinnacle of All Human Thought and Culture
With the local theater closed for bi-annual scuba tank maintenance, I felt the time was apt for a retro review of my personal favorite...
“Waterworld” made me cry
This is the greatest movie ever made. This movie will end global warming. If you don’t like it then you should feel bad.
Rating: 5...
Away from the Sun: Rage Against the Solar Conspiracy
The Sun is not my friend.
I have seen Its face, and it is not a kind face. Did you know that “Teletubbies” was actually...
Sea Monkeys swim into new waters with “PM”
Indie-rock band Sea Monkeys are back at it with their most recent project, “PM.” With their newest release, we watch the group dive into...