Date: Nov 29, 1973
The UCR football squad closed out a fine 8-2 season on Nov. 17 with a 76-28 homecoming victory over United States International University, the most one-sided victory in UCR football history.
Numerous new standards were set as the Scots rolled up a record-breaking 31 first downs and 738 yards total offense, including 632 yards rushing.
The Highlander defense...
A mystery has arisen at the new UCR track and field stadium. The construction of the track has caused a mysterious vortex to develop, sending runners back in time 5 to 7 minutes when they reach 357.22m from the starting line. The time vortex was found by an unnamed Highlander track athlete, who was certain she ended up in...
The UCR baseball team squared off against the Zepton Martians this spring break in what could stand as the greatest game and only game they have ever played on our planet. The Martians were ahead late in the ball game but the Highlanders used a couple late two out rallies to battle back in route to a 12-11 victory.
The...
The development of youth is the key to succeed at any discipline. It has been demonstrated, throughout time, that creating programs to develop the skills of athletes at a young age is crucial to help them reach their full potential. UCR’s athletic committee, at the beginning of the year, approved a proposal from men’s soccer head coach Junior Gonzalez...
LeBron James wants to suspend his NBA career and finish his academic career while playing basketball at the collegiate level. At the end of the season, James will take his talents to southern California and play for UC Riverside Highlanders. According to a source close to the Miami Heat organization, he has made this statement several times in the...
The announcement of a student exchange program between Durmstrang Institute and UC Riverside has led to the formation of a Highlander Quidditch team. The student exchange program is part of the Muggle Studies school of Durmstrang, and is the first program of its kind in Muggle-Wizard relations. By playing the Wizard sport of Quidditch, the organizers of the program...
RIO-SIDE
Erving “Magic” Johnson immediately regretted his decision to buy the Dodgers for $2.15 billion dollars. Realizing how worthless of an investment the Dodgers would turn out to be in the short and long term, Johnson decided to sell the team for $5 to some homeless guy he met at the park.
Just 24 hours after the deal, Magic realized that...
PBHAK’S CORNER
The NBA commissioner David Stern pulled off the biggest bombshell out of all the craziness in the world of sports by reversing the Sessions deal. Stern actions prove to eclipse other sport headlines which consisted of the NCAA banning sport idioms, Magic Johnson selling the Dodgers back for five bucks, and Jeremy Lin leaving the Knicks to playing...
Sports idioms have been banned by the NCAA for use by any media, including journalists and television commentators, after an uproar of the usage of sports idioms incorrectly. The NCAA came to the decision rather quickly, sending out a one page memo on the new regulations. The controversy started after a news writer wrote a recap on the Final...
What To Expect When You’re Expecting
Oh, great. Yet another movie with too many stars and most likely little or no plot. Other than that the trailer tells us nothing. I’m expecting that “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is going to be about many overly emotional and insanely dramatic pregnant women and soon-to-be highly incompetent fathers. Not sure what...