An ancient proverb from the country of Snoglandia features the grizzly bear as the omnipotent symbol of wisdom. The beautiful, furry creature is probably the most underrated and underappreciated creature in American society. Since the swapping of a grizzly bear with UCR’s current mascot Scotty the Bear as a result of the widely reported “Freaky Friday” wave, the change...
Team Summer: Emily Wells and Fatima Mirza, Senior Staff Writers
Tom from “500 Days of Summer” is without a doubt one of the most infuriatingly cliche hipsters ever to come to the big screen. He makes himself impossible to root for, because there’s nothing endearing about some naive twenty-something Smiths-listener who rides out his over-romanticization of the first decent looking...
Three students were held at gunpoint by two pirates at the mouth of the Colorado River at 11:30 p.m. on March 26. Out for a refreshing moonlit swim to the C, the students had nowhere to hide their booty and felt that they were “at the mercy of the pirates who were lurking nearby.”
Ron Chee, a first-year swag studies...
Buenos días
Most tennis fans are familiar with the phrase "no challenges remaining." After a player has used their three allotted objections, the umpire mouths the words that silence any further discussion about a right or wrong call. Well today there are no challenges remaining for UCR tennis as the university announced the decision to remove the program after nearly...
UC Riverside’s baseball Head Coach Troy Percival held an emergency press conference on Sunday, April 1 to make an announcement that he said would change lives. When Percival stepped up to the mic he kept it short and sweet saying, “I’m back,” before proceeding to drop the mic and walk off stage. The manner of the announcement and the...
In a press conference on Monday, President Barack Obama announced that he would be moving the location of his 2014 commencement speech from UC Irvine to UC Riverside. The commencement speech was originally intended for UC Irvine to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the university, along with honoring the “accomplishments” and “diversity” of its students and class.
“To be, uh,...
The Ordo Temporis (OT), a branch of the Illuminati — a secret society formed in 18th century Europe and purported to rule the world from “behind the scenes” — was recently discovered to have been holding rituals at the Bell Tower every academic break, and most recently this spring break, in order to keep the perception of linear time...
After winning their second national title in three years, the UC
Riverside Athletics Department has decided to a pursue a 10 million dollar expansion of the UCR stadium. The football program has seen every home game sell out within days and will look to add higher-tier seating to the 50,000 seat stadium.
The new expansion will serve as a reminder of...
The value of any human being can only be measured by the riches in his or her pockets or daily outfit. If you can't sense a gold mine from the first step, please refrain from going the extra mile. You can be pretty and broke, but conversely also be extremely wealthy and ugly on the outside and inside.
When men...
Critics of ASUCR’s decision to spend nearly $35,000 on R’Gear sweaters were left perplexed this week as ASUCR announced its decision to instead use these funds to buy puppies. In a plan catchily named “R’Dogs,” the ASUCR Senate plans to buy around 70 puppies to help students deal with stress and associated mental health issues, and has set up...