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Most tennis fans are familiar with the phrase "no challenges remaining." After a player has used their three allotted objections, the umpire mouths the words that silence any further discussion about a right or wrong call. Well today there are no challenges remaining for UCR tennis as the university announced the decision to remove the program after nearly...
The value of any human being can only be measured by the riches in his or her pockets or daily outfit. If you can't sense a gold mine from the first step, please refrain from going the extra mile. You can be pretty and broke, but conversely also be extremely wealthy and ugly on the outside and inside.
When men...
Three students were held at gunpoint by two pirates at the mouth of the Colorado River at 11:30 p.m. on March 26. Out for a refreshing moonlit swim to the C, the students had nowhere to hide their booty and felt that they were “at the mercy of the pirates who were lurking nearby.”
Ron Chee, a first-year swag studies...
In other breaking Arts and Entertainment news, acclaimed comedian Dave Chappelle and “Girls” creator Lena Dunham had their bodies swapped as well. This news is one of many instances where individuals are reported to have had their minds swapped in what many are referring to as “Freaky Friday” syndrome. Among the afflicted are Chappelle and Dunham who reports indicate...
After Scotty was replaced with an actual grizzly bear as a result of the “Freaky Friday” pandemic, it seems only appropriate to provide you with tips on how to stay safe when around the new Scotty.
Let’s start off with what attracts a Grizzly Scotty:
Intense amounts of school spirit
The waft of fresh food emanating from the...
This article was written as a compilation by Brian, John, Claire, Andrew and Allison, the multiple personalities of Adrian Garcia.
When life hits us hard, it's difficult to concentrate on having a clear mindset. We have to be physically and mentally healthy to take on these challenges. If you’re worried about the latter part, no worries: You’re not the only...
The Ordo Temporis (OT), a branch of the Illuminati — a secret society formed in 18th century Europe and purported to rule the world from “behind the scenes” — was recently discovered to have been holding rituals at the Bell Tower every academic break, and most recently this spring break, in order to keep the perception of linear time...
With the insanity of the body-swapping incident claiming the personas of millions, perhaps there is no swap more significant than that between the sovereign of Vatican City Pope Francis and President Donald Trump, effectively making the figurehead of Catholicism the leader of the United States (and vice-versa). While many of you are praising God at the miraculous luck bestowed...
On Friday, March 31, much of the media’s attention was centered on the revelation that a strange body-swapping effect had stricken the world, most notably in the case of President Donald Trump taking over the body of Pope Francis. This, however, is not the only noteworthy case that UC Riverside community should be aware of. As was later revealed,...
In a press conference on Monday, President Barack Obama announced that he would be moving the location of his 2014 commencement speech from UC Irvine to UC Riverside. The commencement speech was originally intended for UC Irvine to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the university, along with honoring the “accomplishments” and “diversity” of its students and class.
“To be, uh,...