Last Friday, billionaire and UCR alumnus Andrew Ryan announced plans to drain the campus and create a libertarian utopia, where state funding would be culled and UCR could exist as a “free market bubble where capitalism is king.”
Delivering his presentation from the diving bell at the base of the Bell Tower, Ryan outlined “Project Rapture,” which aims to transfer...
Today, in the matter of Citizens for Justice vs. The National Health Care Providers of America, the Supreme Court will decide whether nationalized health care plans should cover the expense of male circumcisions and vasectomies. Organizations are claiming that circumcisions are religiously motivated and that American taxpayers should not be required to pay for this surgical procedure. These organizations...
The announcement of a student exchange program between Durmstrang Institute and UC Riverside has led to the formation of a Highlander Quidditch team. The student exchange program is part of the Muggle Studies school of Durmstrang, and is the first program of its kind in Muggle-Wizard relations. By playing the Wizard sport of Quidditch, the organizers of the program...
CHARACTERS
MARCELO: second-year English major
ALARM CLOCK: 3 years old, made in China
Notes on MARCELO
MARCELO is a second-year and confused undergrad who can’t figure out how to identify himself after enrolling at UCR. MARCELO is a great planner, decent executor.
SETTING
The year is 2014, spring quarter. The story takes place in SOUTHRIDGE, a small neighborhood in the city of FONTANA, Calif. The...
UC Riverside’s baseball Head Coach Troy Percival held an emergency press conference on Sunday, April 1 to make an announcement that he said would change lives. When Percival stepped up to the mic he kept it short and sweet saying, “I’m back,” before proceeding to drop the mic and walk off stage. The manner of the announcement and the...
“Come see this Jif!” my friend yelled from the other room.
Confused as to why exactly I would be interested in seeing a jar of peanut butter, I briskly walked in to see what was so special about this particular jar. Turns out he was talking about the file type called Graphical Interchange Format, otherwise known as a GIF. You...
With the surplus of water flowing around the campus of UC Riverside, the athletics department announced last month the addition of its 18th sport: rowing. Despite having roots and popularity on the East Coast, rowing has been taking the state by storm with other Cal States and UCs adopting a rowing program in recent years. UC Riverside in its...
Even after a five year hiatus, DaftSkrillMAUS12A609 still has what it takes to transport experiencers to an ethereal realm. “The Wet Dream and the Lucid Dreamer,” released last week, exploded onto the I-Doser scene with an unmatched ferocity that not even oft-compared rival Pr33tyKaskad3’s “Dream Juice” can compete with. These binaural beats aren’t just bloops and bleeps. They’re blips...
As the drug capital of Southern California, Riverside is home to the most vibrant and lethargic stoner community south of Humboldt. But since the University of California system went tobacco-free in 2014, potheads are finding it harder and harder to get away with smoking weed on campus. With the inability to light up, many students have taken to the...
Last Tuesday a UC Riverside student took a photo of what he believed was a Chupacabra roaming the parking lot outside of the Student Recreation Center. The sighting has prompted mixed responses ranging from deep concern to awe. “I had just finished working out when I saw it standing next to my car, sniffing the air,” the student told...