The student inside the Scotty costume, Wright Schroot, has been placed under psychiatric evaluation after brutally attacking spectators during UC Riverside’s baseball match against UC Santa Cruz (UCSC) on Friday, March 31. While Schroot was apprehended unscathed, seven students have been hospitalized with minor to major injuries.
“One minute he was dancing, the next he was absolutely feral,” recalled...
Even after a five year hiatus, DaftSkrillMAUS12A609 still has what it takes to transport experiencers to an ethereal realm. “The Wet Dream and the Lucid Dreamer,” released last week, exploded onto the I-Doser scene with an unmatched ferocity that not even oft-compared rival Pr33tyKaskad3’s “Dream Juice” can compete with. These binaural beats aren’t just bloops and bleeps. They’re blips...
If you have ever been down University Avenue you may have noticed a boarded up brown building in between the Dynamite Café and Solar Panel Movie Theater. Recently, a respected age-old establishment bought this sad depleted building. Starbucks Incorporated has bought the building as a part of its attempts to take us back to the “good old days,” the...
UC Riverside Dining Services remain in disarray as the future of two key investments--the Culinary Chameleon Food Truck and Jalapeño’s Restaurant (under construction)—have become jeopardized. In an apparent backfiring of its namesake, the Culinary Chameleon’s camouflage system has stumped any attempts to locate the $250,000 truck. Meanwhile, students have begun to protest against the HUB’s opening of Jalapeño’s Restaurant,...
ASUCR’s most recent senate meeting has resulted in the passage of a resolution acknowledging the existence of Bigfoot at the botanical gardens, the approval of corporate sponsorships and an injunction for the removal of cell phone signal-interfering devices at the HUB.On April 1, numerous students were strolling through the botanical gardens when they saw a giant, hairy creature that...
Have you ever jolted yourself awake in the dead of night and muttered, “What if I don’t pass the final?” Or have you ever got the sweats with the thought of the senior thesis? Now, what if the “imagineers” of Disney took all those fears and used their magic to create a proper nightmare just for UCR? Don’t bother...
In other breaking Arts and Entertainment news, acclaimed comedian Dave Chappelle and “Girls” creator Lena Dunham had their bodies swapped as well. This news is one of many instances where individuals are reported to have had their minds swapped in what many are referring to as “Freaky Friday” syndrome. Among the afflicted are Chappelle and Dunham who reports indicate...
5 out of 5 Pandas
The crowds of starving students coming back to UCR after spring break are in for a pleasant culinary surprise, because the long wait times and mediocre selection of the PUB has been tossed into the dustbin of history. In its place: the new-and-improved place for hungry students everywhere, the PUB (Panda Union Building). Burritos by...
The Sun is not my friend.
I have seen Its face, and it is not a kind face. Did you know that “Teletubbies” was actually a documentary? The face that appears to be that of a baby is really the face of the evil Sun God. It is not my friend.
People have attempted to decode Beatles songs like “Revolution 9,”...
Sports idioms have been banned by the NCAA for use by any media, including journalists and television commentators, after an uproar of the usage of sports idioms incorrectly. The NCAA came to the decision rather quickly, sending out a one page memo on the new regulations. The controversy started after a news writer wrote a recap on the Final...