May Day
May 1
“Happy New Year!” shouted an alcohol-slurred voice among the multitude of faces.
This was the greeting my friends and I met as we got off the U-Bahn and into the crowd that consumed the middle of Berlin. The first of May is a national holiday in Germany, in which almost everyone has a day off from work and...
April 19 – The Train
I was on a train, alone, in the middle of the night, thousands of miles from my family in the states and with four hours of sleep fighting against four beers in the battlefield that was my body. I’m not usually prone to such surreal, existential realizations, but I couldn’t help but be amazed at...
Fail Better
April 6-7
The pub was filled with the steady booming of old-school Schlager music—dwarfed in sound only by the clinking of Astra bottles and the consistent cheering of a good time. My six fellow Californians and I had been taken to Hamburg for the weekend, and had spent the day touring the lovely city and enjoying the first clear...
UCR is changing. I feel it in the nonexistent river. I feel it on top of the C. I smell it in the trees. Much that once was, is now lost, for none who party can remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Tests. By week three, midterms were given to the CNAS, beings who still...
Last week, some of you might have noticed a sea of people undulating around the Bell Tower with no real rhyme or reason. Some of you who occasionally use that new-fangled Internet machine might have noticed the surge of videos depicting people flailing about for half a minute. Now you might be wondering what is going on, or where...
Unless you live under a rock, you might have heard that Edgar Allen Poe beat a gold miner during this year’s World Cup. But who actually cares about basketball, am I right? We all know the real attraction is the thirty-second ads that pop up throughout the game and tell us to buy things. So to all of my...
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! For the times, they are a changin’. There was a time, not too long ago, when an empire of eyeliner, ripped skinny jeans and whiny vocals ruled the world. When Hot Topics were inescapable and Pete Wentz was actually taken seriously. Well, more seriously, anyway. Yes, it was the Emo Empire, and...
This week, I originally thought I was going to write about the injustices and idiocies of the Oscar nominations. However, a matter much more dire has been brought to my attention that holds far more importance and needs to be discussed. A matter that is poised to ruin the very fabric of America, and maybe even the world. So...
We all know that the start of the New Year is the only time you can get in shape. I mean what is a better condition for running and dieting than the cold winds of January? It’s not like there is a season where the temperature is mild and vegetables are fresh and abundant. And besides, that would be...
Well, it’s finally coming, folks. The infamous date of doomsday is just around the corner. The end of the Mayan calendar falls on Dec. 21, 2012, and theories of the end times are running rampant. What is going to happen? Will a meteor smash into the Earth? Will a solar flare knock everything out? Will the zombie apocalypse I’ve...