What does it mean to be “woke?” Being woke involves a number of things. Firstly, to be woke, one has to acknowledge what is wrong with the world, no matter what people say. Face the facts sheeple, there is a lot wrong with the world and not everyone has the guts to stand up for what is right. To...
“Childish Gambino is going to perform at UCR again!” they said. “It’s gonna get lit!” they said. “Oh shit he cancelled?” they wailed.
Yes, after the failed stint that was HEAT 2014 which saw the cancellation of performances from Gambino, Ciara, Madeon and The Neighbourhood among others, Donald Glover was set to perform at UCR for Spring Splash. It...
As the “Freaky Friday” phenomenon hit the UC Riverside community over the weekend, it came with it the swapping of our beloved Scotty the Bear mascot with that of a grizzly bear. While the change was initially humorous, ditching the cute, loveable mascot for an actual grizzly bear is absolutely absurd.
In the long-run, this mascot would be unable to...
UCR genetics professors Ken Wasabi and Kevin Sanchez have discovered Gene-69 AYE, better known as the “fuccboi gene,” on March 25. According to their research, this gene is responsible for an increase in passive-aggressivity, unwanted sexual advances, a love for trap music and an inflated ego among American males.
The professors began their research in 2015, when the popularity of...
Last week, a methamphetamine lab was discovered on the second floor of Pierce Hall. The lab was brought to public eye after an explosion that blasted the roof off of the building occurred on March 22, the second day of spring break.
Evidence recovered from the scene shows that the lab had been running since approximately March 16, while most...
Over spring break, a group of militant ravers stormed the senate chamber and overtook the ASUCR offices. Electronic dance music could be heard emanating from the room and flashing lights could be seen from the windows during the first few days of spring break. The group reportedly staged the coup due to the cancellation of the Heat Music Festival...
On Wednesday, March 23, the UC Riverside chancellor’s house, located on Watkins Drive, was destroyed after the UCR C fell off of a helicopter chain that was transporting the landmark. No one was harmed during the incident, as Chancellor Kim Wilcox was on a family vacation during spring break.
At around 9:30 a.m. a team of three helicopters hooked up...
The Ordo Temporis (OT), a branch of the Illuminati — a secret society formed in 18th century Europe and purported to rule the world from “behind the scenes” — was recently discovered to have been holding rituals at the Bell Tower every academic break, and most recently this spring break, in order to keep the perception of linear time...
The value of any human being can only be measured by the riches in his or her pockets or daily outfit. If you can't sense a gold mine from the first step, please refrain from going the extra mile. You can be pretty and broke, but conversely also be extremely wealthy and ugly on the outside and inside.
When men...
Several beauty crazes have been circulating over social media and television — including fleek eyebrows, the Kylie Jenner lip and of course, having a chiseled bod and facial features for the summer. As of late, an anonymous source has unveiled Hollywood’s juiciest tips for looking like an A-list celebrity.
Perfect skin
To achieve a flawless makeup-of-the-day (#MOTD), you must start...